All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
