Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
