I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Dear god my vagina.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
