people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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