You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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