left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize