But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
