Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
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