Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
