You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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