I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize