I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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