theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
