you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
soo... how was my night?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
