Life is so much better after having sex.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
