What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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