at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
