You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
