the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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