It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
