good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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