i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
