My brain says no but my pants say off.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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