I think my fart just growled at me.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
