This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
