I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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