Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
