Pappa wants mamma naked
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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