Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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