I'm really into asian looking animals
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
