Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
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