Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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