Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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