Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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