You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
