You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
