I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
