i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
