Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
