i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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