I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
