I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
