So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
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