yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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