You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
