Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
