If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
