sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
She's the barista slut.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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