bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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