You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
