Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
