Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
