laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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