i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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