I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize