I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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